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I Miss You So  
11:22pm 23/04/2009
 
 
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I went to your house
Walked up the stairs
I opened your door without ringing the bell
I walked down the hall
Into your room
Where I could smell you
And I shouldn't be here, without permission
I shouldn't be here

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I took off my clothes
Put on your robe
I went through your drawers
And found your cologne
Went down to the den
Found your CD's
And I played your Joni
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon
I shouldn't stay long

Would you forgive me love
If I danced in your shower
Would you forgive me love
If I laid in your bed
Would you forgive me love
If I stay all afternoon

I burned your incense
I ran a bath
I noticed a letter that sat on your desk
It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"
And no, it wasn't my writing
I'd better go soon
It wasn't my writing

So forgive me love
If I cry in your shower
So forgive me love
For the salt in your bed
So forgive me love
If I cry all afternoon
mood: i miss you so muchi miss you so much
music: the TV and soon the sound of nothing
 
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(no subject)  
01:36pm 08/04/2009
 
 
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How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you
Everything would be allright
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And know everything will be allright
And know everything is allright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

If I could just see you
Everything would be allright
If I'd see you
This darkness would turn to light

And I will walk on water
And you will catch me if I fall
And I will get lost into your eyes
And know everything will be allright

And know everything is allright
Everything is allright

Everything is allright
location: in the sky
mood: lostlost
music: maps- yeah yeah yeahs
 
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more  
10:40pm 22/02/2009
 
 
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I got to see your beautiful face tonight, even if it was just for as long as it took us to smoke the sigies. It was hard for me to look at you, it was mutual tho you couldn't really look at me either. All of this is really over whelming... first it was the job and not being the dishwasher (WoOt!) and then being able to see you even for just a minute(double WoOt!)... Im thankful for it all tho I wouldn't take any of it back. I love you so much and I'm glad to hear that your doing well... I hope that you feel somewhat the same... thats fine i guess if you don't.....

god i hope that everything comes out GREAT in the end. I would really love it if it ended with you in my life and the both of us so happy that we don't know what to do with our selvs haha... yes that would awsome
well after all of this i can't sleep so im off to take a sleeping pill and pass the fuck out..
good night tyler james i love you. YOU TO JARED!
location: lost
mood: worriedworried
music: the stupid TV
 
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Just Breath  
10:42pm 05/11/2007
 
 
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ok I just need to breath.... I feel as I have been holding my breath for EVER and yet I am breathing every second of everyday.....


I Now Know


I know you do not love,
but only shove what you really love.
You use,
only to cuse the one who loves you,
of a crime she did not commite.
I try,
and you just lie.
You have called me names,
in witch you use for your games.
I think its pretty lame,
and I am glad that I have not done the same.
You put me to shame,
and my heart is stuck with pain,
nothing will ever be the same.
I love you,
but for how much longer,
everyday I grow stronger.
I wish I could go,
but I am stuck below.
I am left with no glow
to show that I still flow.
good bye,
I hope you do not die.
mood: blankblank
music: what ever the games music is
 
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WORK! My new job  
12:04pm 01/04/2007
 
 
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so I got me a new job at the Sports Page in downtown kennewick. I got hired right off the bat. I was looking for a job so I was going to go and work for Josie who I worked for like YEARS ago and when I went to see her she said that she really didn't have anything for me but then one of her waters was like "hey if you go down to the Sports Page they'll probebly hire you on the spot" so I went down there and they gave me an interview for the next morning and I then the next day I started at 2! =]

I'm the dish washer but I also prep food and sometimes I have to go out front and help the waiters and stuff. I stand on my feet ALLLLL DAY! And it sucks! I haven't used alot of my muscles in like FOR EVER and man do I HURT! My butt hurts, my hands are SWOLLEN!, my feet hurt, but its all good though cause I'm making MONEY!!!!! WoOoOoOoT!

well I have to go and get me some work shirts for work so yeah



PEACE
location: living room
mood: moneylessmoneyless
music: my gym partners a money on TV
 
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Mrr ..... poo =[ DOG  
03:19pm 15/03/2007
 
 
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Well I WAS supposed to be in an apartment by now with Tyler but shit hasn't gone the greatest with money lately so POO =[

I got drunk the other night... it was fun... but then the next day I had a fucking stomach ache like ALLLL DAY... not a head ache, not a body ache... .not any of that.... just a mother fucking TUMMY ACHE! >_<

I hung out with my friend Erik yesterday. It was fun and he took me out to eat.... even though I wasn't hungry..... but thats ok... I still had fun and I was happy.

I am getting a dog soon.... I can't wait =] I'm getting a small dog so that my cat will have a friend.... she's lonley and ANNOYING! but then again what Siamese cat doesn't get ANNOYING! p.s. I don't think I spelled that right OH WELL!

ANYWAYS! We haven't had the internet for like EVER because JJ has been to fucking lazy to call Charter and get it fixed and then Kyle called today and got it fixed and it took like 2 FREAKING MINUTES! Tylers friend Robert tried telling him to call like 4 days ago but JJ was like "no, its going to take like an HOUR to get it fixed" and Robert was trying to tell him that it may or may not and he wouldn't know unless he called... so JJ calls and was on hold for like 2 minutes before he just hung up... Kyle today was on the phone for a total of 3 minutes while he was on hold before a got to talk to someone so JJ is just a FAG!

Well I am going to go cause I have ran out of things to say..... PEACE HOMMIES
location: living room
mood: Need an apartment  =[Need an apartment =[
music: Fosters home for Imaginary Friends
 
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People  
06:33pm 28/02/2007
 
 
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I'm tired of speeking out and not being herd.... and then when people want something or had something told to them that you said and they come to you... you just want to fucking SHOUT! I'm tired of men... there all the same... they all start out different but then in the end there all the same. I just want to curl up and cry because of annoyence and not being herd. I'm done with him... them... ALL!

I came home today and my kitty was LOOOOOOVEY! HEHE she's so cute. She was just jumpin ALL OVER ME! she was given me kisses and rubes and she was just making me all sorts of happy.... I didn't come home in a very good mood so it was nice to have her here with me. She's been up in my lap and on my computer and now she's laying in my bag of cloths HAHA she does that alot with mine and Kyles cloths... she likes to lay in his hamper and in my bags with my cloths.

Well I have to go and get ready soon for going with Kyle to his friends house... we're going to drink alittle... I think that I want to get drunk now after the small yet almost BIG confintation with Tyler..... he's been ANNOYING THE SHIT OUT OF ME latley... I guess its cause he's starting to act a little like Kyle.... says he's going to take care of things and it just seems like he doesn't take care of those things... he says he does but I never see ANY progress from him "taking care of things" so I'm starting to not trust him and he gets madd at me but I don't care because if I were to see at least a LITTLE progress out of him "taking care of things" then maybe I could trust him more with everything... I hate it with me cause if someone breaks my trust with ONE thing then the trust with EVERYTHING just going down the shitter and people just can't seem to understand that......

well I need to get ready for Kyle to take me to get drunk or buzzed or just to hang.... so


PEACE HOMMIES!
location: on the couch
mood: helplesshelpless
music: Cops on TV
 
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My Spattered Heart  
10:12pm 25/02/2007
 
 
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So I didn't do the painting that I wanted to do the other day... I did it TODAY and it is called My Spattered Heart. It looks pretty fucking cool =]

I invited Tyler over to paint on a canvas as well.... he's never painted before or even thought of painting... so it was a new kind if feeling for him... I hope he enjoyed it =]

I'm not quit through with mine yet because the paint on the background is just a little bit to thick to add what I need to add... it'll smear everywhere if I add what I want to add. When I get it finished I will post it on Deviantart art and then I'll put the link on here for anyone who wants to see it =]

Well I just ate some pizza and I want to brush my teeth so


PEACE MOTHER FUCKERS! =]



p.s. I am going to write on the back or front of the painting....

And you spat your colorful yet harsh words acrossed my heart.
location: My kitchen
mood: ARTSY!  =]ARTSY! =]
music: Incubus- wish you were here
 
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Today I think......  
08:58pm 24/02/2007
 
 
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Today I tihnk I want to paint... so I think I might paint...

:shrugs:










words:

And today was the day she would say "yes."
location: Computer room
mood: Just Fine ThankyouJust Fine Thankyou
music: none
 
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The Easel  
05:31pm 21/02/2007
 
 
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So my mom got me an easel but its not NEW its USED! =[ poo.... but I guess theres like this odd history behind it or something. She got it at an antique shop in wanatchee and the owners of the shop had baught it at some mansion that was selling all the things inside from like LONG ago. I guess this easel belonged to the owner and he had an unfinished painting on it when they baught it. BUT the owner of the antique shops partner had taken the painting off the easel and sold it to someone like a few months ago so I didn't get the painting plus the easel... I just got the ancient easel.

So when my mom told me that she had baught some ancient easel at some ancient antique shop I wasn't all that happy because I wanted a new one that I knew would be good..... but I'm just glad that I got one... and with such a weird past. She says she still wants to get me a new one but when she had herd about this one then she had to buy it. haha

Well yeah... I think I am going to go and find something SWEET to eat..... I have been CRAVING SUGAR for like a week now and we haven't had any.. but me and Kyle went shopping the other day so there has to be SOMETHING.. right?...
mood: I NEED SUGAR!I NEED SUGAR!
music: Tomb Raider for the X-Box 360
 
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